From saga novel Unholy Science by Lynda Williams.
"How does it feel?" Horth demanded. "To be jealous?"
Oh, Gods! thought Ilse, drawing a deep breath. "Well," she said, schooling herself to be honest. "It makes me dislike Imsha Ka, which is wrong of me. So I feel bad about myself. It makes me feel as if every other woman who sleeps with you is stealing something from me and I feel inadequate because I cannot be enough to satisfy you. So I feel diminished. I am vulnerable to the taunts of women like Alivda. So I feel foolish. I have strong feelings for you. They urge me to make you part of my life and Isty's as he grows up. But I know this isn't possible, so I am sad. I cannot give you up, Horth. No more than I could give up Isty now that I have held him in my arms. But my instincts insist anything less than marriage, or at least the trust and permanency marriage implies, is futile and humiliating. So I feel ashamed of my weakness for wanting you. All this is what it means to be jealous."
Trapped together on Horth's flagship in the midst of the Nesak War, Horth struggles to understand his feelings for Ilse.