From saga novel Pretenders by Lynda Williams.
"'A Demish woman with a sword ... is a woman with a sword,'" declared the Monatese man. "It's a Vrellish maxim. Naturally, one has to appreciate the underlying assumption of a woman with a sword being as threatening as any man wielding one. I have noticed Demish seem to require centuries to digest the notion."
From the scene where Ameron, disguised as "the Monatese man", meets Ayrium. And helps her overcome Demish prejudice against a woman duelist in a tournament Eler gets her embroiled in.